pstlyfdiva's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What to do? You know this is the time in a woman’s life that she typically runs with excitement to her mother. It saddens me that I can’t. Here it is two weeks later and I have not told my parents that I am engaged. It seems wrong…deceitful…like I am ashamed. I am not; I am so very happy and excited. I wish my mother could open her mind and her heart. I would think she would be happy that I am in a happy, healthy relationship no matter if it is with a woman than the horrible unhealthy marriage to a man that my sister was in for 7 years? C and I have been together almost as long as my sister’s marriage lasted and my mother still refuses to acknowledge she exists. Five years of acting like my life is only work, the house and the pets. Five years of never asking me about my weekend. Five years of never asking who I did such and such with. Five years of my mother and I only having a partial relationship. Five years of missing her. Five years of having to trek to AZ, since she will not come visit me. Five years of trying to placate C about my mother behaving as if C is a pariah. How do I tell them? My father will be easier than my mother, so if I can tell him separately and first that may help. But how do I do that when we live on opposites sides of the country? I don’t think it is appropriate for me to call my father at work, even though he is better about the whole thing it still may be emotional. If he isn’t at work he is with my mother. I (re)came out to them in a letter, which was good that I could get everything out, but bad, as it let my mother not comment and act like it never happened. So I don't know if a letter is a good idea. The next time I will see them will be at my grandparents’ over the summer, that wouldn’t give us any privacy or time. (Plus I am not even out to my grandparents, on my mother’s behest. That is another dilemma for another day.) I want to tell my parents now. I want my mother to be happy for me. I want them to meet C and love her. I know they would. My boss who adores me recently joked that she liked C better than me! She can charm anyone with her sweetness and wide eyed look at the world. What to do? On a better note I told my sister who said she was very happy for us and that she would participate and do anything that we needed her to. At least I know I will have one family member at my wedding. 10:46 a.m. - 2007-03-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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