pstlyfdiva's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mother...
I haven't even told her that I am engaged. How pitiful is that? We were once so very close. I miss that. I miss talking freely and not having to worry if what I was about to say would upset her, send her running into hiding. I spoke to my sister last night, she said that my mother was worried about me, said that I seemed distant. Of course she said this two weeks ago, but my mother hasn't said anything to me. She is so incredibly anti-confrontational. I get my distate for confrontation from her, but I am not quite as bad. Strangely it upsets me that she hasn't asked me if anything was wrong...I mean there could be something seriously wrong and she not know. I am being silly to be mad that she isn't asking, I know. I was already frustrated with her, so moving on to being angry wasn't too far of a stretch. I am tired of her ignoring the biggest part of my life. I bought a card today and in it I am going to write a letter that says that we need open a line of communication and that while she does not have to like my being a lesbian, she needs to accept it. She has been hiding her head in the sand for the last five years, ignoring the fact that C exists. It is time. Her daughter is marrying the woman she loves. Either she accepts it or misses out on her daughter's life. I am hoping she chooses to accept it. I have faith in her, despite her history. It is just so hard...hard to disappoint my mother and I know that I am. I have to disappoint her in order to move on and hopefully have a whole family once more. 5:58 p.m. - 2007-04-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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